Your Eyes Shine

Greatness is all around us.  It really is, you just have to be open and looking for it.  This morning started with me having nothing to write about; so I did what I always do- got a pintrest and started looking for things that inspire me.  I can get inspiration from many things, as you can probably tell if you have read any of my posts, but today is a special day.  Today I am sharing with you a video that I think is amazing.  Watch and listen to the words and come to your own conclusion; but I think if you are a daughter, or have a daughter, you will be able to relate to this brilliant work by Sarah Kay.

I love this poem and I think it is amazing.  I love how I can relate to everything, and hope to one day pass the strength of this poem to my daughter.   I think my favorite part is “…but don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.” How many times have you felt one way but acted another because the people you were with didn’t agree, or it wasn’t appropriate for the place and time – like having a laughing fit a Christmas Eve mass, happens every year!

Being your own person is such an amazing gift, we spend out whole life trying to find out who we really are- and being jealous of the people who already know who they are.  I find myself becoming comfortable with whom I am, but then I start to question if that is what I want when it is different from what other people want from me. 

Pink may be the best color in the world, glitter can make any day better, and I love breaking into song.  This may be the belief of a four year old, but I am twenty seven and in our society its not normal to act this way as an adult.  I like me, I like laughing and pink; if you don’t like that about me is it my problem or yours?  I had a job for three years that tried to change me from the goofy person that I am into person who I didn’t like to be.  So I left that job because I was sick of apologizing for the way my eyes refused to stop shining.

There comes a time in every person’s life when they realize that they are in control and it’s their turn to take their life in whatever direction they may choose.  Some people realize this at twelve, others at sixty, and yet still some will live their whole lives being someone they are not. I challenge you to look around your life this week and see who is in control, are you or are you allowing someone else to create your future?  Each and every one of you are an amazing being, allow yourself to be the truly awesome self that you are – let your eyes shine.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Series of Accidents

I love getting odd text messages, and the person who sends the best ones is my sister.  I will get random movie quotes, and then we have a “battle” to see who know the most lines from the movie.  Reciving lyrics from random 80’s songs are also a regular occurrence.  Last night I got a text that really made me think and I think you all will be able to relate to it: I feel like my life is a series of accidents that somehow added up to something nice.

When I received this I was kind of taken aback by it.  It was very wise words to get from my sister, and I just sat there and began to think about all the little things that make up your life.  I know that I have bad days and at the time they seem to last forever and that your life will never be the same… but I can maybe only name three days that were actually bad days; and they involve the death of a loved one.

I had never thought about my life a series of events, I mean I know I probably had thought about it that way, but it wasn’t until last night that I was hit over the head with it.  One event doesn’t determine the rest of your life.  Now sure, one even can change your life, but it doesn’t determine how everything is going to be forever.  Moving to a new city is going to change my life – but really moving is just a change in atmosphere.  My personality won’t change because I moved, I won’t become smarter in  a new city, I will make new friends but will still have all my friends that I have now.

When we are living in the moment we only see good vs. bad, and we can’t typically see past that moment.  Next time you are having bad day stop and think about how you will feel about this even in one day, one week, one month, and one year.  My guess is that your feelings will change over time and what may seem like the end of the world today, will become the best thing that has happened to you in a year.

Living in the moment is a wonderful way to live, and I truly try to enjoy everything that is happening to me at that time, and not worry about what may be.  Living in the moment can also cause you to put blinders up to everything else that is happening around you.  I hope that one day I am able to live in the moment, but not let it consume myself so I miss out on the amazing things that are happening around me.  You have the power to react to what is going on around you, and I challenge you to take it in, live in the moment, but don’t let the moment control your future.

There are so many quotes that desirable life, and I love reading them until I can find one that fits the mood I am in.  Today I am using: I feel like my life is a series of accidents that somehow added up to something nice. I am going to look at my life and see the good in what is happening and not worry on how it will affect me today, but how will it affect me in a year if I don’t make a change?  What are you holding on to that is just a single event, but you are letting it determine your future?  Think about it and what power you want this event to have.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

You are amazing

Hello all!

Lyndsay recently asked me to write a blog for you on, well, anything really. Needless to say I’m honored, and I’ve decided to talk to each of you about this amazing friend of mine, and why I believe the world is so incredibly lucky to have someone like her in it.

So this friend of mine. There are so many things that make her amazing in my eyes. To offer you a glimpse at who this girl is, I’ll give you a list of all the reasons why I love her. She’s smart, funny, sassy, kind, caring, considerate, determined, protective. She has one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen, and she’s not afraid to tell you why you’re pretty dang awesome yourself. She is absolutely wonderful, and we’re all lucky to have her.

Now that I’ve finished, I want you to take a minute and read that list again. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

I think there’s something I forgot to mention. Oh yeah, that friend of mine I was talking about – that’s you! How many times have you said any of these things to one of your close friends? We’re girls, meaning we tend to say it a lot.   Why is it that we can look at our friends and the list of compliments and positive attributes is never-ending, but when we turn that compliment mirror on ourselves, we can’t come up with one single thing?!

This inability to see the freaking awesome in ourselves is reflected through our lives in ways we don’t even realize. It’s in the way we walk (head down, staring at the ground), how we carry ourselves in public places, how we talk to others, how we dress, how we behave in classes and at work, the activities we chose to participate in. Our entire lives are affected, because we don’t realize how awesome we are.  You know what?! I’m tired of it. We are amazing.  YOU ARE AMAZING, and it’s about time you realize it!

Today. Right now. You are going to sit down and write down everything you have done, you do, and everything you want to do.  I’ll give you my list:

This morning, I got out of bed and went to my math class. I hate math with a passion, but I still went. That’s awesome.

I have a strange obsession with cake. Sweet.

I am surrounded by friends and family who love me just the way I am. That is incredibly awesome.

I have a freakish ability to memorize songs after hearing them twice. SO COOL!

I am chasing my dream of being a motivational speaker. Too cool for school (yes, I did just say that. And THAT makes me awesome, too).

Lyndsay and I are not afraid to burst into song (and usually dance) in the middle of a store if we love the song they’re playing. We look ridiculous, but the employees love us. AWE-SOME!

I love food. A lot. Especially pasta. Wonderful.

This list doesn’t have to be world-changing or ground-breaking.  All I want is for it to be yours. I know giving yourself a compliment is not the easiest thing in the world….but why is that? We’re taught to be humble and run from any slight sign of being conceded, but living your life to the fullest and knowing your particular level of awesome?! That’s not conceded at all, that’s what life is all about.

Stop doubting and “hating on” yourself, girl!  YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

In the wise words of my beautiful sister,

You have it all & Confidence,

Cammy

Cammy is currently a student at the University of Wisconsin-River Falls.  She is an amazing young woman and actionist.  Cammy is currently in the process of starting her own non-profit to help build school in developing nations as well as being an active student on campus and being a member of the Deans list.

Watch out for hot lava

I have had the wonderful opportunity to do daycare for a four year old a few times a week.  As I don’t have children on my own, this is such a delight for me.  I get to play with play dough, play pretend, and sing songs in the car – it’s so much fun.  There have been times when I have heard from people that they don’t know who is having more fun, me or the little girl.  Doing daycare is one of the highlights of my week; because I learn so much.  Today, I am going to share with you some life lessons I have learned from a four year old.

I make it a point to tell the little girl I watch that she is a good at something, if its dancing or coloring or something other than just how cute she is (because she is adorable.)  Today I told her she is a great dancer and her reply was “I know; it’s because I like to dance.”  I wonder how old I was when I stopped doing some of the things I love, because I didn’t think I was good enough.

 Life lesson number one: If you like doing it, don’t let others stop you

When we are in the car together we sing, and we sometimes listen to the radio. I will typically make a fool of myself dancing in the car to make her laugh and get her dancing to.  I may say that I like a song and her response is “I like this song too.”  It may be the first time she has ever heard the song, but she likes it.  When is it that we stop liking things right off that bat and begin to become hesitant to dive into something?  I think as a society we tend to think that people are looking to get something from us, so we put a guard up and make them prove us wrong.

Life lesson number two: Love everything; don’t waste energy putting up your guard

I didn’t realize when I took this job that I would become a jungle gym, and everything is something to climb on, sing on, or play hot lava on.  Everything is a game when you are four.  We ice skate on the wood floors, we sing about what we are going to do that day, had living in the mid-west you would be amazed at the amount of hot lava that is EVERYWHERE!  It is so much fun to see how her brain works and how we can change everything into a game; even eating breakfast can become a game.  I don’t know if it is when we get to school and our teachers are totally outnumbered, or when our parents tell us to calm down, but at one point in our lives everything was a game and we stopped playing it.  When life is a game you see everything as an opportunity to rescue the princess or fight pirates.

Life lesson number three: Life is a game, don’t forget to play it

I get so much joy out of watching this little girl’s brain work and grow.  I have been with her for a few months and I can see the huge steps forward she has made in becoming more independent, and how just how smart she really is.  I also love getting a big hug when she sees me unexpectedly.  Life is too short to worry about what others think of you, to bring your work life home, and to be too afraid to try something new.  Next time you see a challenge, try thinking about it the way a four year old would, you will be amazed at the new ideas you come up with to overcome your obstacle; and watch out for pirates and hot lava.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Label me this...

A few weeks ago I had someone ask me a question about labels, and the labels that have been placed on them.  I have been thinking about what my own beliefs are on labeling; and I have come to the conclusion that we all need labels.  Now, I am not saying that we as people need to be labeled, but in order to process things, we tend to label them.  Was it a good, or a bad day?  Was that song happy or sad?  Was that person goth or emo?  It is when we begin to label people that we get into trouble, or at least this is where we start to judge people.

I still label people, after months of training and being aware that I have judgment toward people, I still do it.  I see people at the mall who I assume are looking for attention by the way they are dressing; then I think of myself: I wear shoes that are covered in glitter on a regular basis.  I look at people who don’t have the same values that I do, and I start to think that they are wrong for what they believe in.  We are human; we label, we judge and we compare ourselves to others – because we always want to feel better than someone else.

Now that I am able to admit that I place judgment on people that I don’t know, I am also the first person to tell you that I am willing to give that person a chance and allow them to “prove me wrong.”  I have friends right now that I thought would never like more, were too smart for me, or too popular for me.  I love that one of my really good friends is a die-hard Republican; while I am a very liberal Democrat; yet we can still be friends and I love spending time with her. See what I did right there?  I just placed a label on me and my friend.  I used these labels as a way to describe us, but I am sure that you all have a different idea of what a Republican and a Democrat are.

I have many labels that I place on myself: democrat, educated, funny, and overweight, a girly girl, a big sister.  Some of these labels are positive and others can be viewed as negative.  I have placed the labels on myself based on what society has set as the norm.  Some of these labels are totally me – I love pink and glitter and make up and if were acceptable for a 26 year old women to wear a crown every day I totally would!  What I am trying to say is that if you like the label that has been placed on you, or you have placed on yourself – work it!  If you don’t like a label, change it – prove the world that they are wrong about you.

Labels are a hard thing to deal with.  Yes, they can get easier with age, but I know people who are still dealing with the labels that were placed on them in high school.  Are you happy with whom you are?  If you answer is yes, than who cares what the haters thing, you are amazing!  If you aren’t happy with who you are- what are you going to do to change it?  You control you happiness, don’t let the others bring you down.  If you want help with the labels that have been placed on you – check out my website www.andconfidence.com – maybe coaching will help.  Just remember that you are amazing, you are wonderful, you are the only person just like you on earth, you are unique, and you are perfect!

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Look at your haves

I tend to think I live a rather normal life” I work, I go home, I sleep, I hang out with my friends.  To me that seems to be normal, but it is days like today that I realize how abnormal my life is and how lucky I am to have the life I have.  Yesterday one of my best friends moved, and not just to a new house or across town, but to another continent.  I have had such wonderful support from people who I work with and my friends and family.  It’s been great to know that I have so many wonderful people around me.

This morning I work up at 11:15 that may be the latest I have gotten out of bed in years, but it was wonderful to wake up this morning by having my dog jump on me than crawl under the blankets and cuddle.  Again, to me this is normal.  I then ran some errands and ended up hanging out with my little brother and his friend.  Now my brother is in college and how many 19 year old boys want to hang out with their big sister, let alone let her come with when he is with his friends.  On top of the invitation to hang out with my brother, he bought me lunch.  This isn’t abnormal in my life. I have a wonderful family who supports me and likes to hang out with me…

I want you all to take a look at your life and realize how lucky you are.  I know that we all compare ourselves to others and look at what we don’t have instead of what we do.  I have an awesome family, and I know people who would kill to have the relationship with their families be like the one I have with mine.   It is wonderful and I am so thankful to have them.  What do you have in your life that you are not recognizing to be as amazing as it really is?

See how much of this you can relate to.  I know that this week wasn’t the most awesome week in the world, but I had some wonderful experiences and I am still a very lucky person to able to live the life I have.  I dare you to think outside the box and look and all the “haves” in your life, not the “have nots.”

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Circle of Influence

Yesterday I got an email about my blog from a former coworker.  I don’t think I ever really spoke to him, and we weren’t what I would consider friends.  His email said that he liked what I was writing and gave me some information.  Needless to say I was shocked.  A guy that I didn’t really know took the time to write me and email about my blog.  AWESOME!

Have you ever looked around to think about who you influence without even knowing it?  I mean I take a few minutes every day to share my thoughts with you, but I don’t have any expectations on that will actually come from what I say.  I always get excited when I see that people have read my blog or visited my website – I mean I am pumped that someone from Russia has looked at my blog, I don’t know anyone there so how cool is that.

The point is that I am able to influence people that I don’t even know.  Not that I am talking to the directly and changing their life, but if I can make someone think about themselves and change one thing, or maybe they will pass my information along that will help someone out.  I have the power to make a difference, and I am using the ability!  Last night I spent an hour and a half helping my little sister write her resume, she is directly in my circle of influence; but think about this… what if her resume is posted on her website and someone reads it and wants her to come and speak at their school and she reaches one person in the audience, I have not added that person to my circle of influence.

You not only have the power to influence those you come in contact with directly everyday but you also influence the people that they influence, and so on and so on.  Stop for a second and think of all the people that you can influence, think of how big that number could really be!? You have something very special to share with the world, what are you doing to share it?  You can do anything; just make sure that every day you do something to make your world, your circle of influence, a better place.

This may sounds a little crazy, but sometimes it’s the crazy thoughts that actually make the change.  I love my ability to think big and my circle of influence… are you thinking big enough about who you have the ability to influence and the power you have to change your world?  Let me know what you are going to do to impact your circle of influence.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Like me on facebook at: www.facebook.com/andconfidence

I LOVE YOU

So I originally had this whole big thing I wanted to share with you today about how Valentine’s Day is overrated and you need to make it what you want it to be.  If you want it to be a day with friends go for it, or you parents, or family, or that special someone one; Valentine ’s Day is just a day to tell those you love that you love them – so I am going to do it a day later.  

To my family: I love that you are always so supportive of me not matter what crazy idea I have.  I love that you can make me laugh and you understand my offbeat sense of humor.  I love that you allow me to have a part in your life and that we have so many awesome memories together – singing in whale, waiting to open gifts on Christmas, and working way too hard at the conference.  Thank you for making me who I am today – I love you!

To my Friends:  I love that you not only love me, but my family as well.  I love that you come to me for advice or coaching, it means so much to me that you value my opinion.  I love that we can go out or stay in and watch the food network all day and have just as much fun!  I love that we may not talk for WAY TOO LONG, and we can pick up right where we left off. I love that you have brought me into your families and allowed me to feel like I am a part of them as well.

To my IPEC Family:  I love you all because you are all so supportive.  I love the random comments we have for each other and your level ten energy.  I love that although we may not have known each other very long that you know me so well and this I know all of you.  I love that we can chat about anything and we just want everyone to succeed- no competition- just a love for what we do, who we are and the change we know we can make.  I also love that you allow me to live my life and support me in the way I do it.

To my readers:  I love that you take time out of your day to read what I have to say.  I think it is cool, but it is you that actually make me post something as often as I can.  I love the inspiration that you give me and the impact you make on me without even knowing.

Valentine’s Day tends to be a holiday that people love or hate, but it’s just a day.  One day out of the year when you tell those you love that you love them, just a reminder holiday.  So your challenge for today: tell those you love that you love them and why.  Write a blog about it, or a facebook post, or tell them to their face, all you have to do is tell them.  Love is a powerful feeling and can impact many people, do your job to make sure that your love is known.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

chats with 7th graders

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Now getting down to business; yesterday I was able to go and talk to some seventh grade students about healthy relationships and bullying.  Needless to say, I would like to apologize to anyone that knew me as a seventh grader as I am sure I was the most annoying person on earth.  I thought that it was really appropriate to be talking about these types of thing on the day before Valentine’s Day, so today I am going to share with you the presentation I gave yesterday.

First we talked about pick up lines and how to decide if they are creepy or not.  A few wonderful one – mind you these are seventh graders – Do you have a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them. (I am hoping that they don’t really understand what that means.)  Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? (They said this one wrong like three times before one kid finally got it right) And the crème de la crème – Do you work at McDonald’s because I think you are McBeautiful.  REALLY! Yep, that just happened.  Gents, please don’t ever compare a girl to McDonalds, just saying.   The point of this activity was to let them know that they person who is receiving the attention gets to decide if you are being a creeper or not.  If you are getting unwanted attention it not okay and you have the right to have them stop.

We then started talking about bullying.  Everyone knows what bullying is, but did you ever actually look around to see how frequently it happens.  I didn’t just talk about physical bullying, but cyber bullying, emotional bullying, and much more.  While we were still talking about bullying an example happened right in front of me.  We then discussed how bullying has become almost an acceptable thing to do in our society.  If it is really bad or physical we tend to report it but the other cases are chalked up to kids being kids.  I know from experience the bullying is very hurtful and happens to adults as well as kids.

So the moral of the story is that sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, which can be hard.  I know that I still struggle with it; but you are special and have the right to be happy.  If you feel like you are being bullied, or that you are being hit on in a way that makes you uncomfortable go to someone that you can trust.  Even as adults we have an HR department that we can go to.  Workplace bullying is something that as adults we don’t really think of but take a look today to see if you or someone you work with is being bullied.

You are a wonderful person who deserves every right to live the way you want to.  You are awesome and I know it, if you have someone in your life that makes you feel less than awesome, take a look at why they are in your life.  You are amazing, I know it, and you know it, now make sure the world knows it.

You have it all & Confidence

Lyndsay

My necklaces are really cute

Late last week I had day that wasn’t going the way I wanted it to.  It wasn’t really a bad day, looking back it was a good day, but there was a certain point of the day that I didn’t like.  I could tell that this was the type of thing that I could let ruin the rest of my day, or I could move on and not worry about it.  I decided to move on and posted something on facebook asking people what they do when they are having a bad day.  I was expecting to get videos or jokes or some mindless activity that would be a cure to a bad day.   I was surprised but the first two comments I received: they both stated that I was the person that they went to when they needed to be cheered up. 

What me?  You come to me when you want to get cheered up?  I saw the posts and began to think about the power that I have that I am not even aware of.  I tend to be a goofy person who likes to laugh, I am not very philosophical, and tend to think that I have an issue with word vomit.  I never thought that they way that I act normally is a way that would cheer some people up.  These messages were not meant to make me feel like I am all and mighty, but they made me think about how lucky I am.

I spent this weekend thinking of all the things I am lucky to have in my life.  I have a very supportive family, even when I tend to do things that they would rather I not do.  I have amazing friends who love me and my family, and showed me so this weekend.  I have people around me who love each other, not in a romantic way, but I was able to see how much my brother loves me and my sister this weekend.  Who do you have in your life that makes you remember how special you really are?  Everyone is special in their own way and we all show how we are special differently.  I didn’t realize it, but I show that I am special by just being who I am and not being afraid to flaunt it.

I know that you are special, and I know that you have things that make you lucky.  Have you ever actually thought about what they are?  Today’s challenges – tell someone why you think they are special, or if you are really daring – ask people why they think you are special.  Sometimes you just need be reminded about how amazing you are, and at times it can be hard to ask, but I guarantee you there is someone in your life that would be happy to share the reasons why they love you.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

make 'em laugh

Some of my most favorite people are the people that can make me laugh.  I had a conference call last night (that was a little boring), so we were entertaining ourselves on facebook.  We had a short conversation about something totally absurd, but it was enjoyable.  I also love reading the stupid comments that some of my friends make that honestly make me laugh out loud.  The thing I find most entertaining is that you would think that my friends that I have these conversations with are my friends that are still in college… nope.  Two of my amusing friends are in their forties with very successful careers, they just love to be goofy and laugh.

I think that because these people love to laugh and be random that they are younger that they actually are.  What are you doing in your life that is making you younger or older?  I love the color pink, I love to laugh, and I love to wear girly dresses; and I did this in a corporate setting.  What I found that my superiors thought that I was immature and not capable of being successful because of these reasons.  It didn’t matter that I had higher numbers that my “more professional” co-workers, or that I was more efficient than them; I was “too young and immature” to be really good at my job.  So I left that company.

I could have kept a job that I didn’t really like and conformed to the way our society thinks adults should act, but instead I embraced my inner kid and left; and I haven’t looked back.  I have started to surround myself with people who make me laugh and make me feel young.  My sister and I regularly have dance parties while shopping and have been known to break into song… in public.  I wake up every morning and check my friend’s facebook pages to see what ridiculous thing they have found and posted, or just used their unique view on life to make me smile.

It is a known fact that adults don’t laugh enough, thus they die. (You can laugh at that).  I don’t plan on being an adult who doesn’t laugh.  I am doing everything in my control to make sure that I laugh and stay young forever.  Am I growing up in the process, sure; but you age doesn’t determine how old you are, they way you think and live does.  I challenge you to find a few things to laugh at today.  Take time to do so, you will feel so much better.   Life is funny, take a look around and enjoy it

.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Yeah, I am AWESOME

I love running into people lately.  I always ask them how they are, they usually reply with “okay” or something like that.  They then ask me how I am and I respond with “amazing” or “awesome” or “wonderful.”  Very few people will ask why I am feeling that way, and no one has ever asked me how they would get to feeling the same way.  A year ago I would have been the same way, instead of being happy for my friend who was doing well; I would question why I wasn’t like them?  I would automatically think there was something wrong with me.

What do you do when someone you know has what you want?  Do you feel sorry for yourself, get angry, or are you happy for them.  Have you ever asked them how they got that way?  Its one thing if the just got an awesome grade on a test, or just had something major in their life happen; but what about the people you know that are always positive?  What do you think they are doing to see life the way they do?

This is what I am doing:  I way up every morning and allow myself sometime for me – I read or watch Netflix or play bejeweled (yes, I am a little bit addicted).  I also think of at least five things that I am thankful for while I am getting ready in the morning.  I take time every day to do something that I love *cough* blogging *cough*.  I also surround myself with people that make me feel better, and people what I want to be more like.  I have a conversation everyday with one of my best coaching friends – just to check in on each other to make sure we are on the right track.  I look at my friends on facebook to see what they are up to.  I laugh.

I am not saying by any means that you have to do any of this, but what you are doing to move you life from “okay” to “amazing?”  You have the power to take control over your life, don’t let people bring you don’t, find the ones that raise you up.  Take some time today to think of one think that you can do to move your life in the direction you want to go.  I know you can do it, and if you want help – let me know!  I am here to help you and plant ideas in your head.  Use your resources; there are people in your life who want you to succeed, all you have to do is ask them for help.

You have if all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

what do you believe in?

My mother is a pretty amazing woman.  I am so lucky to have her as a role model in my life.  Every week she writes a new letter that I would like to share with you:

A couple of years back I attended an evening with a teen mothers group through Red Wing Youth Outreach.  It was very difficult for me to be there, I wanted to pick up all of those innocent infants and toddlers and take them home with me. They needed to be cuddled, fed, and bathed. The good news is the reason these young mothers were there was to learn how to be parents. Most didn't understand what being a parent meant as they were just children themselves. Many hadn't grown up with decent parenting role models. Last week I was attending a very different meeting. A group of caring people in Lake City are bringing our Packing for the Weekend Program to hungry children there. Everything is in place to get it started, volunteers, funding from Cargill's Horizon Milling and a have need. One church in town feeds over 80 children each Wednesday evening and more on Sunday afternoons. They have been trying to understand why there are so many children going without food and have met with parents who struggle to do their best for their children and parents who have simply given up. These parents have issues of their own to deal with and children are often left to parent themselves as well as their  parent(s). The schools in Lake City are hesitant to allow the program in. One of the concerns is that it is not a child's job to provide food for their family. I wholeheartedly agree. It is not a child's job to provide food for a family.  But when a parent refuses or is unable to do so, whose job is it? In this time of severe political polarization, when we look for everything to be black or white, right or wrong, rich or poor, right or left, whose job is it to parent neglected children?  Who should provide food for the middle school students who live with their mom who is a meth- amphetamine addict and uses any money she has to support her habit? Who should provide food for the children whose parents have lost their jobs and their home? Last year I heard a bright and successful young woman speak about her childhood. She was the child of well-educated, once well employed, heroin addicts, living on public assistance. One winter she remembered sharing a chap stick with her sister - not to medicate chapped lips, but as a meal. Another time they shared a tube of toothpaste when the neighbors ran out of food to share. Some of the families we meet are on government assistance, some are not. Some are two parent households, some are not. Some own their homes, some rent and some live with whoever will take them in. Some have been reported to Social Services, some have not, many don't fit the criteria required to be labeled neglectful and have their children removed from their care. The one thing these families all have in common is parents who for many different reasons aren't parenting.  When children are left without a responsible parent - ask yourself - whose job is it to parent them?  At United Way, we believe it is our job to ask that question and to help find the answers. That is why we ask to GIVE, to ADVOCATE and to VOLUNTEER.

This made me think – what do I believe in and how am I doing something to make it better.  Now I believe that children should eat as it makes their whole life better, so I have donated my time and food – and now I exposed all of you to this as well.  I know there are other things in my life that I believe in that I am not working on.  What are you doing to make the things you believe in more important to those around you?  Are you doing anything?

I challenge you to take an inventory of what you believe strongly in and pick one thing that you can do to help the cause – see how it makes you feel, and see who else feels the same way.  I believe that you can only become a better person if you are helping those around you become better as well – it takes a village. 

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

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always try again

I had a wonderful dream last night that got me thinking when I woke up this morning.  It was about a boy that I have met and really liked him.  I sent a message to one of my friends who knows both of us and just told her about the dream.  I then said “I wish the dream was about a guy that was actually into me.”  My friend said “CONFIDENCE.”

I wake up every morning thinking about what I want to say to the people who read my blog.  I usually just want everyone to know how wonderful they are… and then I say stuff about myself that isn’t telling me to love me.  So the real lesson for today:  cut yourself some slack.  I could get mad at myself that I am not practicing what I preach, or I could recognize that this is a still an area that I need to work on.

How many times have you started something new: a diet, work out regiment, way of doing something, and if you make one mistake or slip off you feel that you are done and you have succeeded.  What if you allowed yourself dome wiggle room?  How would that feel?  Imagine if you decided to make a change, but they allowed yourself some errors and still be a success.  We tend to think that in order to effectively make a change we must do it perfectly the first time.  I think this is so funny that we think this way, because when we are taking seventh grade science we learn about trial and error.

What would happen if you started to live your life in the way of trial and error?  When we are growing up we do it all the time; we try a new food to see if we like it, or a new sport or movie; but as adults we feel as if we need to know what we like and cannot venture off that path.  Why?  It is when we try something new and see how it turns out that we really learn about ourselves.  So cut yourself some slack and try something new.  Date the guy that isn’t your type, go for that new job you have always wanted, take the salsa class.  You learn more about yourself when you try something and it doesn’t go as you have planned versus sticking to the status quo. 

You are an amazing human being who is full of potential and opportunity.  You are brave enough to try the new adventures you want in your life.  You can do it, and if it doesn’t work the first time, try again.  Always try again.  You are the one in charge of your life, not the labels that have been placed on you.  You can do it, you can make and change you want.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

matching baggage

I have a friend who has one of the biggest hearts in the world.  She is such and amazing friend and I know that if I ever needed her in the middle of the night that she would be there for me.   I was hanging out with her this week when she got a phone call from one of her co-workers, she didn’t answer if because I was there. First of all, I was shocked that she didn’t answer the call; as a society we tend to take calls and texts when we are with other people and it has become acceptable to do so.  The second thing that surprised me was the conversation that fallowed.

I know my friend’s co-worker and my friend started to talk about how she felt bad that her clients didn’t want to work with her co-worker.  My friend was going to call her co-worker back and explain to her why she was working with the clients today and make sure that her co-workers feelings wouldn’t be hurt.  I looked at my friend and asked “why is it your problem that your co-workers feelings are being hurt because you are doing your job?”  My friend looked at me as if no one had ever said that to her before.  She has a heart of gold and wouldn’t ever want to hurt someone, so she felt that it was her job to make sure that her co-worker was feeling good about herself.  After talking a little more my friend decided not to call her co-worker back, and just see how the card fell.

My question to you is whose baggage are you carrying that you don’t need to travel with?  I know that many of us take on other problems because that is what we do, we fix things.  Or you may be a person that just doesn’t want to tell others anything bad, so you take on their problems so they don’t have to feel the pain.  What benefits are you gaining by doing this?  My guess would be that you are loosing sleep, or withdrawing from other activities in your life because of the problems you have taken on?

Take a look at what is going on in your life and who actually has control over it.  If you have control over it, decide how you want to handle the situation; but if you don’t have control, I challenge you to let go.  What!? Let go of problems I can’t control?  I know what a concept.  As I have gotten older I have found that I worry about things that I don’t have control over, or I take on others problems because I don’t want them to feel pain. If you are protecting people, how will they ever get the opportunity to grow and learn how to take care of them selves?

This will be hard, and I still struggle with it regularly.  I have spent countless hours working on my baggage, and why would I want to carry someone else’s when I still have to carry my own.  And on top of it all, my baggage is a matching set, and I would like to keep it that way!

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Not a morning person

I had the wonderful opportunity of waking up at 7 am this morning… I know that many of you would consider that sleeping in, but I am not a huge fan of mornings and tend to be a little grumpy in the mornings.  Any way, I got out of bed and went into the living room and started to watch tv… or infomercials.  I could get a Brazilian butt lift, slim in twenty, loose 40 pounds in 40 days, or I could buy some awesome looking jeans that were as comfortable as pajamas.  I was sitting on the couch looking at my “options” of ways to improve myself when I started to think “why do they think that I need to be improved.”

Yesterday I wrote about change and how inner change is beautiful and that it can be hard but it’s your decision… after seeing what was on TV today I realized that as a society we have all the outer sources telling us that we are not perfect.  If we loose five pounds our world will become so much better, if we buy the perfect workout video we will finally have all the friends that we thought we were missing.  It is amazing that any person would be able to walk through the day and feel good about themselves; it’s hard.  I know that I fall to the pressure of what is being thrown at me, and actually was thinking about the Brazilian butt lift for awhile this morning – but then I remembered, I kind of like who I am.

I like that I am risk taker and take on new opportunities.  I like that I have an amazing group of friends that support me and make me laugh.  I like that I am close to my family and that I know I can always count on them.  I like that when I smile I have a little scar on my face.  I like that even though I am curvy I can work it.  What do you like about yourself?  Have you ever made a list of what you like?  I am sure I could ask you to tell me three things that you wished you could change about yourself, but could you name three things that you like? 

You are amazing just the way you are; I am not saying that you can’t improve yourself, but I don’t ever want you to think that you need to change who you are.  I believe that we all are where we need to be right now.  We are all perfect the way we are, and if you want to change you can, but please don’t ever feel pressure to change because you were watching something on tv, or read something in a magazine.  If you feel that pressure, let me know, I would be happy to tell you are amazing you are. You are amazing, you just need to tell yourself that sometimes.  You are amazing!  You are wonderful, and you are perfect the way you are.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Change...

Change is one of the hardest things that a person will ever go through, especially if they are trying to change themselves.  There are songs about change, and books about change, and even people to help you change.  I used to be one of those people that wanted to change but never look inside to see how I could change; I always wanted things out of my control to change.  If I just got a better job my life would change, if I found a good guy to date my life would change, if I moved to a different city things would be better.  All of these things would make a change, but how many times have you said this to yourself, they happen, and you still feel like something is missing.

I believe that as a society, especially my generation, we have been thought that anything that is wrong with our lives is someone else’s fault.  Why didn’t you get an A, the teacher hates me.  We have been so wonderful at placing blame on others for the things that we want to change that we tend to look for excuses, instead of looking inward to see what the reason is.  I challenge you to look around and see what you are waiting for; change to happen to you or for you to make change happen.

Last year I had a job that I didn’t like, and thought that if I got a new job that everything would be better.  So I quit.  Did things get better, yeah, it was really nice getting away from a place that the environment just brought you down, was I happy now – no.  I am still a work in progress but I am working everyday to make a change in my life, one way is by writing this blog.  I know that I want to have an impact on those around me, so every day I do something to make that a reality, thus making change.  We tend to believe that once we reach a certain age we will have everything figured out – I know that I used to believe that, but I change and now I realize that you have to be willing to change as the world changes and those around you change as well.

Change tends to be a topic that people see as something that is bad – but change can be wonderful. I have changed so much in the last year and I love it!  Now everyone has haters that want you to stay the same forever, but you need to do what is best for you. I challenge you to look at your life and take a small step to change one of the things that scares you.  I know you can do it – and when you are ready for a big change let me know, I am here to help you.  Change is wonderful when you are in charge of it.  You have the power to make it the best out of everything, including yourself.

You have it all & Confidence.

Lyndsay

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wonderfrul

Wonderful… wonderful is a word that tends to be used too much in our society.  When is the last time that you actually saw something wonderful?  Or, when was the last time you looked in the mirror and said you yourself that you are wonderful.  I know that everyone has days that we know we are wonderful and we are just waiting for someone to tell us that we are – but why can’t you just tell yourself.

As a society we spend a lot of time looking for validation from those around us, our parents or friends or just the random person on the street.  Why can’t we look at ourselves and tell us what we love about us.  I love that I am willing to take risks, I love that I am able to make a fool of myself and let other laugh with me, I love that I am still learning no matter where I go, I love that I surrounding myself with those who increase my energy levels.

How often do you say things like that to yourself?  I challenge you to take a few minutes, look in the mirror and say things that you love about yourself.  Once you actually say them out loud, your brain starts to recognize them, and they become even more true.  For example, if you say you love that you are a smart and powerful being, you will become even more smart and beautiful.  It’s all about what you present to the universe, don’t sell yourself short.

I know you are amazing and wonderful, and I am so thankful that you are willing to read my blogs and visit my website.  If you are ever having a day where you are feeling less that wonderful, let me know, and I will be able to help you on those days.  We all need to be our own greatest fans… and until you are able to do that I am excited to help you.

You are wonderful – you are wonderful – you are wonderful.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

made a difference to that one

Yesterday I had the awesome opportunity to receive an email from someone who had read my blog.  I don’t know this person, but they stared that they had read my blog, like it, and were inspired.  Now I had hoped that this would happen, but I wasn’t sure if my thoughts would ever be something that would actually help others.  This made me think about the starfish story.  Watch it!

I know that it will take time to impact the world, but who ever said that in order to make a difference I have to help the whole world, helping one person is helping the world.  I challenge you to look at your life and see who you are helping without even being totally aware.  You never know how your kind words may make someone’s day, or how a hug can change a person’s week.

As you have probably read, I was in LA this past weekend with some amazing people.  Last night a bunch of us were on facebook and talking about what we are doing and how we are making progress.  I thanked one of the guys who posted a tweet about me, and we had some very wise words “we are better together.”  We are better together – we are better together.  Take a step to help us become better together.  I am not saying you need to go find a cure for world hunger- but can totally smile at someone.  Just look around today and think about how you could impact that persons life – and if you are really brave ask people how you inspire them.

You can make a difference, I know you can.  You can change the world one person at a time because we are all better together.

You have it all & Confidence

Lyndsay

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