naps, glitter, and dance parties

I woke up this morning to thunder and lightning, and the power going out.  I was laying in bed thinking about everything that has happened over the past few weeks and as I was reliving all the awesome events that have happened; and I just got this stupid smile on my face and began to laugh.  Yep, it was 4:30 am (amazing I know) and I was laying in bed laughing.  As I am laughing I decided to get my butt out of bed and write, instead of rolling over and sleeping for a few more hours.
It all stated two weeks ago today, I was on my way to the Jostens Renaissance National Conference.   It took two hours stuck in traffic, a brief layover (aka. SPRINT) through the Atlanta airport, and a grand total of 4 hours in flight before I finally arrived at my hotel at 1:30am, but it was totally worth it.  The conference started with getting my picture taken with the Heisman Trophy, and then I got to wear all four champ rings from last year (Packer, Cardinals, Bruins and Mavericks).  The opening session started with the opportunity to watch my dad on stage in front of 1100 people, not going to lie, watching him speak never gets old.  After my dad was done I got to have front row seats to a Parachute concert.  My sister and I were standing on our chairs singing and dancing, later to find out that everyone in the room could see us and was giggling at us… including the band.
Later that night I was able to go to Disney and wander around with my sister and my dad, it was a wonderful evening. It ended with amazing seats to the fireworks and a bus ride back to the hotel laughing with family friends.  Saturday included a Pep Rally that had a Star Wars theme, so I got to see my brother dressed up like Darth Vader… pretty sure one of his life goals is now compete.  That evening I was able to attend an awards banquet honoring the best teachers in the business, and heard two Congressional Medal of Honor winners speak, truly awesome in every sense of the word.  The night ended with a small gathering in our hotel room with some close family friends, and laughing so hard we cried.
Sunday morning came way too early, a common theme I have noticed at most conferences.  I had the amazing opportunity to have breakfast with Kevin Carroll before his closing session.  If you don’t know who Kevin Carroll is I highly recommend google-ing him today.  Not only is this man an amazing speaker, but he has the ability to inspire me.  Kevin’s message is about remembering how to play, and that we spend so much of our life worrying about how we are going to pay the bills, or how we compare to those around us that we forget to enjoy the ride…
While lying in bed this morning listening to the rain I was thinking about how lucky I have been to be able to play the last few weeks.  I got to attend an amazing conference with many once in a life time events;  last weekend my best friend from high school came to visit me, it was the first time we had seen each other in five years… I was able to have a play date with my best friend.  I have always said that I am a kid at heart, but it wasn’t until this morning that I realized how important remembering to be a kid is to me.  I LOVE TO PLAY, I am good at it, and I am no longer going to be ashamed that I tend to think more like a child than an adult.
I have come to realize how important play is to me.  I am convinced that someday I will have a love story like a Disney Princess, and that having a plan for the Zombie Apocalypse is not time wasted.  I believe having random dance parties in my car so people laugh at me is for the betterment of society, and that a nap can fix everything.  I believe that I should sing along to the song that is playing at the store/coffee shop/movie if I know the words and feel like singing and that pink and glitter are always acceptable.  I believe that  when in doubt asking your parents for advice is a really good idea… even thought the now just tell me that I have to decide for myself, and that my siblings will forever me my best friends, greatest cheerleaders and favorite playmates a girl could ever ask for.
 We spend our childhood wanting to grow up, and then we become adults and wish we could be kids again… why can’t we be both?  I am making a promise to myself to embrace my inner child, because it is the silly things that I listed about me that make me who I am, and if people don’t like the kid in me, than they don’t like who I truly am.  I challenge you to take a look at that five year old that is hidden in you somewhere, let ‘em out for a while and feel how good it is to play, and laugh, and just be goofy.  Don’t let being an adult stop you from remembering to laugh at life like a child.

You have it all & Confidence, 

Lyndsay

step up to the plate

I love a good happy ending; I want to see the couple ride off into the sunset, see the bad guy loose, and see the underdog finally get the girl - what can I say I am a hopeless romantic.  Due to this love of “happily ever after” and that I may have seen one too many Disney movies, I tend to have this idea in my head about what I want in a relationship– but as it turns out I really have no idea what I actually want, and finally coming to the conclusion after twenty plus years that my fairy godmother isn’t going to randomly appear and save the day, has made my dating life rather entertaining.
I can tell stories about dates that you wouldn’t believe, that someday you will all learn about when I write my book.  I have dates that have gone so well that as soon as the date had ended I sent a text to my friends saying I had finally met someone, and I have dates go so poorly that I was wishing that someone would call to let me know that they had been abducted by aliens or something that would have to come to their rescue.  Looking back at these dates I am able to laugh, but at the time I felt as if I was going to be alone forever and turn into a crazy cat lady.
Since moving to Chicago I have met two guys that I thought were amazing. We hit it off, they made me smile and laugh, and we had a lot in common.  Things would go really well for a few weeks, than just like a switch they disappeared into the night.  I didn’t hear from them again, and didn’t see them anymore.  This is when I would start to look internally and try to figure out what I did wrong.  Did I say something or do something that had upset them?  What is it about me that would make men decide that they no longer want to see me;  but instead of letting me know that things were done, they would rather just stop talking to me?  What was wrong with me?
I am sure that there have been times that I have said something to turn a guy off, actually I am rather certain of that, but with the past few guys I am totally clueless. After spending countless hours trying to determine what was wrong with me, and what I was doing to ruin the good thing I had going on I realized something – it has nothing to do with me.
I had dinner tonight with some awesome people that made helped me remember how amazing I really am, like every person I get so caught up in what isn’t going the way I would like it to, that I forget all the truly awesome things I have done.  I am a pretty cool chic, if I do say so myself, and I know that someday I will find a man who believes that I am awesome too.  Sometimes all you need to do is surround yourself with people you love and trust to help you remember who you really are.
After the first guy stopped talking to me my confidence was shaken, I didn’t think that I had anything of real value to share with any one;  how was I to talk about confidence when I didn’t have any.  What I had to learn is that I don’t have to have everything figured out in order to share my thoughts with you all, all I have to do is be willing to learn, and improve myself, and be happy with who I am. Sometimes it is easier said than done, but I am happy with who I am and I know that there is a man out there for me that will also be happy with me.
Sometimes things aren’t going to go your way, and you can either shut down or step up to the plate. For the last few months I have just shut down, but not anymore-because that really isn’t who I am. I’ll step up to the plate and take my chances, because playing the game is more fun than placing yourself on the injured list.
You have it all & Confidence,
Lyndsay

when in doubt- call mom

Home is where your mom is – this is one of my favorite sayings, because it is so true.  This past weekend I flew home for Mother’s Day; not just to celebrate the day with my mom, but also because I needed my mom.  As I have gotten older I have found that some things just won’t get better unless you talk it out with your mom.  Being an adult doesn’t mean that you have everything figured out in your life, it means that you know what you value and are living your life in a way that doesn’t compromise what you believe in; that is a lesson that I learned over the past few weeks.

One of my favorite things to do is hang out with my family, and I have grown to appreciate it even more now that I can’t see my family every day.  For mother’s day my family went on a picnic and I laughed so hard; whenever we get together we are usually laughing so hard that one of us starts crying and this weekend was no different. Not only did we spent a lot of time laughing, but mom had just seen a cool exercise on finding what you value, so she had us all sit down and think about the things that we truly value.

It was amazing to hear what my family put down as what they value, and how we all had similar values, not surprising coming from the same family.  This was really hard for me because I came to realize that I was currently not living my in a way the supports my values.  I had to take some time to look at my life and see what I wanted to do to re-align my life in a way that is true to what I value.

After spending some time at home and being able to be with people who love me, I was able to figure a few things out.  I learned that I truly value volunteering and I need to find a way to add that into my life here in Chicago.  I also remembered what it feels like to be around people who are fun and like to laugh, so I am in the process of finding some new activities that will make feel more connected to my surrounding.

It may have only been a 48 hour trip home, but it was very wonderful. I got to talk to my mom and she helped me figure out what I wanted to do.   It doesn’t matter how old I get, how many books I read, how much schooling I have; my mom is always to help me out and talk me in off the ledge.

Over the last week I have really come to realize what I find important; and that I am in control of what is going on in my life – I have decided to write my story.  Just like everyone else, I have times when I my story is at a standstill.  I had stop writing my story, I was going through the motions but not putting any investment into what I wanted my story to be.  I am lucky to know what I need to do in order to “re-set” my thinking – I just need to spend some time at home and talk with my mom.

Today’s real lesson- know what your re-set button is.  Some people just need to take a nap, other need a vacation, I need my mom.  Once you know what your re-set button is you have the power to start writing your story again, in the way that you intended.  Don’t let life get you down, take a breath, hit the re-set button and when in doubt; call mom.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Fairy Tales

“Let the wild rumpus begin” is a phrase that all kids under the age of thirty, or parents who have kids under thirty have heard before.   This is just one of many phrases that stick out to me when I think about books I have read or movies I have seen over the years.  I love movies, and I have a special spot in my heart for children’s movies.  My family has told me that I have the same taste in moves as many pre-school aged children; and I have learned to longer take offence to that, but to embrace it.

I have talked before about how we are in charge of writing our own stories; but this can get complicated.  You can think you are writing your story one way and then you get thrown a curve ball, or the chapter you are writing doesn’t turn out the way you had wanted… but this doesn’t happen in children’s movies.  When I watch a Disney movie, I know who the bad guy is, I know that it will end with a happily ever after, I know that the princess will find true love and the bad guy will get what he has coming… this isn’t as easy in real life.

The ability to escape my own reality for a few hours and become amerced in a story is a wonderful feeling.  I was at a movie last night that wasn’t a kid’s movie but it still had the same aspects- I knew who the bad guy was, I knew who the good guys were, and I knew that they were going to save the day. Yes the movie had some plot turns, but I was able to sit in the theater and forget about the stress going on in my life.  For two plus hours I was able to watch the good guys win, and sometimes in reality the good guy doesn’t always win.

As we grow older it tends to be frowned upon to enjoy fairytales and movies for kids- but a movie came out this past weekend that is pretty much a fairy tale for adults, and it did VERY well at the box office.  I love my ability to still enjoy kids movies, that I am still able to find the joy that are in these pictures and that I haven’t let my life experiences jade me from enjoying the more simple things in life.  I still get excited when a new Disney movie comes out, and if it is a princess movie- I pretty much start a countdown until the release date.

Some people may see my love children’s movies as naive and immature, but I see it as a success.  I was able to grow up, have my heart broken, worked in the “real world”, lived with people, lived by myself – I was able to become an adult and I am still able to see the good in the world.  There are days when I know that the only think that will make my day better is to watch “The Princess Bride.” I have found a way to allow myself to process my own story that is in a non-destructive way, that doesn’t hurt me or anyone else.

We all have our own ways of writing our stories, and processing what is happening in our story.  I challenge you to take a step away from your story occasionally, and let your mind enjoy a different story for a few hours – I think you will be surprised what may learn in that short period of time.  I know I have watched movies before and come up with new ideas about how I wanted to write my story, or how to deal with a certain chapter that wasn’t going the way I wanted.

Enjoy writing your own story, but don’t forget to allow some whimsy into your story- because what we are all really looking for is the “happily ever after.”

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Take a week

Over the past few weeks I have had a lot of random events happen in my life.   I went to Milwaukee for work, decided to take a random road trip home, started to actually work, met some new people, and allowed my brain to get clogged with scary thoughts.  While all of these events are wonderful, I needed some time to process; so I took a break and it seemed to work.  I think that taking a week away from writing allowed me to figure out some things for myself which had brought me back to writing and sharing my thoughts with those of you who are kind enough to take time from your day to see what I have to say.

Prior to last week, I thought that taking a break from writing would mean that I would never write again, or that no one would read what I had to say anymore… that I have to be consistent to be effective.  I am not sure how I came to having this idea but over the last week I have learned how false this idea is.  Even in the corporate world people are allowed to take a vacation, schools take a vacation, so why wasn’t I allowing myself to give my brain a vacation?

When was the last time you allowed your brain to take a week off from something that stresses you out; not from work, or house work, or your crazy yet adorable kids – but the inner thoughts that you struggle with?  I am not going to lie, taking a week of was really hard for me, and I spent a lot of the time reminding myself why I was taking time off.  With all the new changes that have been made in my life I had not really allowed myself the time to fully process what was going on, and was I happy with what was happening? I had moved and been on the go ever since.  I started working and learning my new job had made me lose focus on the other messages that I wanted to share with you.

Taking a week off allowed me to process, I didn’t come to a place of enlightenment, I haven’t found a new outlook on life… but I know I am in a better place this week than I was two weeks ago.  While I was lying in bed yesterday morning I actually felt a weight being lifted off of me. It was a crazy feeling, almost felt like I was on a roller coaster.  I rolled over and began to think about what was going and what was I so worried about that I was finally able to release?  I then started to wonder if it mattered; did I have to know what was able to release in order for the feeling I just had to be real? I decided that I didn’t have to know what I let go of, I just have to recognize that I was able to release something from my life that have being weighing me down.

Being able to let go of whatever is holding you down is very hard. I don’t know how I did it, but I believe taking a week to just process what was going on around me helped. Having a weight lifted off my shoulders showed me that taking time to process worked, I am still not sure what that weight was- but I feel better. I challenge you to let you brain take some time to process what is going on in the world around you- let it take a vacation.  It may not be as awesome as spending a week at the beach, but it may be just as rewarding.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

One week...

A lot of things can change in a week, and this week has been a pretty awesome we of change for me. I haven’t really changed, or I don’t feel that I have, but things have changed this week.  This week started off okay for me – a big event didn’t happen to change my life, but I did gain some insight into the life that I am currently living.  I have learned a few things that I value more than I thought I did, and there are people who are in your life for a reason.

This week started with me going to work and being the crazy, yet adorable, girl that I am; I was working but had a little voice in the back of my mind thinking about him.  I had sent him a text the night before and was waiting to hear back from him –it had been twenty four hours and I had not heard anything.  That was Monday, it is now Friday and I still haven’t heard from him­- the lack of communication made me realize how much I do value communication. This week also helped me see how strong I am and that just because one boy wouldn’t give me what I wanted doesn’t mean that I won’t ever find a man who will give me what I am looking for – or maybe something even better. A week can make you change the way you view a person.

Tuesday was another not so awesome day- I was very excited to have two of my sorority sisters come and visit me this weekend; on Tuesday I found out that they wouldn’t be coming.  I was disappointed as I am always looking for people to go on adventures with, and I haven’t seen these girls in a very long time.  I love these girls and I always will, but this week taught me to be realistic in my expectations.  You can’t make people change, sometimes the things that drive us nuts about people are also the things we love the most.

I was then able to go on an adventure to Milwaukee to do some training for work.  It was wonderful to know that I am able to take care of myself in an unfamiliar place. On top of it all I was able to meet up with a dear friend when I was in town, and we had a blast. We were able to girl talk and it was amazing how much better I felt about everything when someone validated the way I was feeling and told me that I was special.  This week taught me that some friendships remain strong no matter how much time has passed.

On Thursday I decided to come home for a long weekend- a five hour drive after eight hours of training may not be the most fun thing I can think of, but I am so glad I made the trip.  Not only did I get to pretend I was a rock star for five yours (I can totally sing just like Kelly Clarkson) but I danced in the car, and every song I heard made me think of an event that I was happening in my life.  I have a five hour drive to think about and decide how I wanted to handle the events of that past week.  Not only did I realize that some things just don’t matter, some people never change, and that I am stronger than I think I am; but I also came to the conclusion that this is life and I am willing to accept it.

So many different events and feeling can happen in a week. Instead of trying to not be upset that he never called, or that my friends bailed on me, I love that this happened because it allowed me to come home and see my family.  I can’t explain how amazing it is to have my dog go crazy because he hasn’t seen me, or the smiles on the faces of my family that didn’t know I was coming home.  You can either let the events that have happened consume you, or move you forward. I am moving forward; moving forward  doesn’t mean that I am not hurt that last week didn’t go the way I planned, it just means that I am going to accept it and move on instead of being stuck in a place where I am not happy.

We spend a lot of time wondering what could have been, which causes us to miss out on what is.  Don’t let one week make you forget that when you wake up tomorrow a new week is here with new challenges and opportunities.  Don’t miss out on what could be because you are still thinking about what was.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Lyndsay's top ten on being single

I am at a time in my life when every time I get on facebook I find out that someone is getting married, having a baby, or posted another twelve pictures of their kids.  I love being able to see this and am happy for my friends, but I am not going to lie as a single girl it gets old.   Most of the time I like being single, it’s pretty awesome, but there are days when I am very jealous of my friends who have started the next part of their life; so in honor of all my single ladies out there, I am making a top ten list of why it is awesome to be single – in the eyes of Lyndsay.

10) You get the whole bed to yourself. You don’t have to share the covers, no one is breathing on you, and you don’t have to sleep on a quarter of the bed because the other person is taking up the whole bed.

9) Laundry for one is wonderful.  I can go a pretty long time without doing my laundry because it’s just me! I don’t have to make sure the other person has clean clothes; I just have to worry about it I have enough white tanks to last me or if my skinny jeans are clean.

8) Shoes. I love shoes and because I only have to worry about clothing and feeding myself I can use any extra money I have to spend on really important things, like shoes and make up.  AND I can bring them into my house without having anyone wonder how much money I just spent.

7) Eating an entire meal of cheese is totally acceptable.  Not going to lie, one night this weekend I had mac and cheese, cheese and crackers and cheesecake– again no judgment from others. It was a wonderful calorie filled day.

6) Flirting whenever I want. I can go to the store and flirt with whomever I see. Every guy is a potential date… until you see a ring. Best part – you and flirt with more than one person at a time and you don’t have to feel bad!

5) Bad movies are totally okay. You want to have a Nicholas Sparks weekend when the big game is on – you go for it.  If you want to watch PS I love you and cry for two hours, it is totally acceptable (and you can eat as much cookie dough as you want in the process)

4) Your facebook skill remains as sharp as ever! You can spend as much time as you like stalking the guy you met at the bar last night, or looking to see what they guy you kind of liked in high school looks like now.

3) Decorating is easy.  My room right now is hot pink, and I have picture of my family and friends and random trinkets all over the place.  I also have a dresser full of hair products and make up, and I don’t have to clean it up or put it away because I am the only one who uses it!

 2) The only person you have to think about is you – doesn’t matter what someone else wants to do, or what they want to eat. You can do what you want, when you want to.  Shopping again, third time this week- why not! I mean I moved to a new state on a whim.

1) I can take care of myself!  Yes, it is wonderful to go out to dinner and have my date pay for it, and who doesn’t like to receive gifts; but I love knowing that I can take care of myself and I don’t need anyone else to help me live the life I am living.  I have come to realize that I am pretty awesome and I don’t need a man to complete me life, he will only enhance it.

Single ladies can have a wonderful life, and depending on the day we will admit if we love it, but sometimes it’s hard.   So to all my wonderful ladies out there, you are amazing. I know it. You know it, and you don’t need to be in a relationship to make you feel like you are worthy – because you are pretty awesome just the way you are.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

It takes a village

“It takes a village” has always been a saying that I found to be very true. I know that I would not be who I am without many of the people in my life.  From family, to friends, to teachers and mentors; all of these people have had an impact in my life and have made me who I am today.  It is times like today when I receive wonderful news about people in my village that I become aware at how true this saying really is.

I received very wonderful news from my sister today – she revived a very big honor and award on her college campus that is usually reserved for seniors; she is a junior.  I enjoyed getting these phone calls when I can hear the smile in her voice about how the process to receiving this award was going. It was a nomination, an application, an interview, and then a final decision committee meeting; after all this she was one of just a few students to receive this award. This is a big deal.

I was talking to her on my way last night, when she was finally able to tell me that she had received the award. I am pretty sure I screamed in my car.  As we were talking I was sad to tell her that I wasn’t going to be able to make it to the award ceremony, and she stated that I would be there in spirit.  I then said “what are you talking about, I am there – you wouldn’t be who you are without me!”, and her reply was so sweet. She said “I figured that our years ago.”

Hearing that you have made a difference is amazing; it brought a smile to my heart.  My little sister is an amazing woman and I am so lucky to have her in my life; but what I find more amazing is that she considers herself lucky to have me in her life.  I know that my sister did all the work to receive this honor, but I can’t help but feel that this was a family effort – it took a village to make her the woman she is today.

Look at the people you have in your life, and who you are able to influence every day.  You can either choose to have a positive influence on those around you or a negative one.  I try to have a positive influence on all those who are around me, and I have found that it make those around me more positive, which in turn means that I am surround by positive people. It is a happy never ending cycle.

The moral of the story is to make sure that the village that you surround yourself with is doing their job and making you into the person you want to be.  Sometime you luck out and happen to come from a family of awesome people who help you become an pretty cool person… but when you are on your own, starting a new village (what I am doing right now) I am looking for people who are going to make me happy, make me smile and laugh, and make me a better person.  I hope that you are working to make your village grow, and that you are member of many villages as well.

Tell the people in your village when you are proud of them, not only will it make them feel better but it will make you feel better as well – so to Miss Camryn Nelson, I am so proud of you and your more recent accomplishment. I love you and I can’t wait for your adventure to continue.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

good day

Today was a good day, nothing amazing happened but it was a good day.  It started with me writing, then got up and had a dance party while I got dresses and ready for my first day of work at my new job.  I went to work and met some awesome people and the day only proceeded to get better from there.  After work I talked to four of my favorite people in the world.  I spent over an hour today talking to people that make me smile, then I came home and made a quasi nutritious dinner, and checked my email to find a message from a friend just checking in on me. I was a good day.

It is days like today that I probably will not remember looking back on my life, but they are the days that make life worth living.  If you were to ask me to name some of the best days of my life they would include – My college graduation, the conference when everyone when to Disney, and singing in the car while driving around Hawaii.  Now the moments are magical, and I will love them forever, but I would not have moments like this if I didn’t have normal, non-adventurous, days like today to help me know when something is really special.

I believe we spend a lot of time looking for the days when something big happens, a day you will remember for the rest of your life; but the feeling of love I have in my heart right now matches the days I listed above.  Sometime it is all about recognizing the little things in life that help make your whole life complete.   I know that I have had many days like today, but today seems special because prior to today I was just having okay days, not good days. When I look back on my life, not in ninety years but when I look back at it today, I remember moments that made me feel loved – and what more could a person ask for.  I have been so lucky to have people in my life that have never made me question if I was loved or not.  Knowing that I have this amazing support network around me is such an amazing feeling; I hope you all get to have one day.

Take a look at the people you have in your life; who is making it better?  I know that I feel better when I talk to my family, so I try to make sure I talk to at least one member of my family every day.  Find the people in your life that make you feel better and make a point to add them into your everyday life.  Little thinks like getting a text from someone who makes you feel special can change a person’s whole day.  Whose day can you make better because of what you are willing to offer them.  You know what makes the people in your life smile, and see what you can do to make sure they smile every day.

I one day hope to look back and remember the feeling that I have right now – that everything is good and that days like this are normal.  Today was nothing special, but it felt amazing, and the best part is that I know that I will continue to have days like this, because I am going to be happy and my life is going to be good.  Do your part to make your life as amazing as you want it to be…

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

will this matter in six months?

Every person that has ever really made an impact on my life has a song that I associate with them; and if you are really special you may have more than one.  I believe I could put together a multi disk complication of the songs that just remind me of my family. When I hear songs that make me think of the person I associate them with I get a big smile on my face and start to think of all the fun times we have had together; remembering the good can help me get over the not so awesome moments.

Last night I was another adventure that didn’t turn out at all like I had expected, but it was still a good night.  I drove and hour to meet up with a friend of mine, but due to an odd turn of events we weren’t able to meet.  While I was driving home from my friend’s house I heard a song that made me think of my grandma.  I was driving with a big stupid smile on my face thinking about my Grandma and how she would have handled the situation- it was at this moment that I realized this situation didn’t need to be handled.

As you can see I still struggle with letting the universe make my plans and not pushing plans onto me.  I am sure that if everything would have worked out last night that I would have had a good time, but for some reason, they didn’t work out, and I am sure in a week I will have figured out why my plans fell through.  I know it is hard, and I continue to struggle with it, but sometimes you need to take a step back while you are in the moment and ask yourself “will this really matter in six months?”

I have had to say this to myself a lot in the last few days – will this matter in six months.  Like most people, I tend to get so caught up in the moment that I don’t allow myself to see past my current feeling.  If I am mad, I just want to be mad and not think about anything else; but what did I miss out on because I was mad? Was I so mad about my plans falling through that I didn’t take a chance that would have allowed something else amazing to happen? Was I so consumed in feeling sorry for myself that I missed an opportunity to make someone else’s day better?

It is so hard when you are felling such strong emotions to look past them and try to decide if you will feel the same way about the situation in six months, or if you just need to me mad for a few minutes so you can move on and continue to live your life?  Think about a time when you felt angry because something had happened to you- do you still feel that same anger today, or have you been able to move on?

In this day in age when I can go on facebook and find out anything about anyone I was ever associated with, am I allowing my feelings to get the best of me? Are you so mad that you are going to vent about it in your latest post – or are you going to wait a few minutes and decide that if you were to go back and look at your posts, would you feel silly for making such a big deal about something that turned out to be insignificant?  I am in the process of finding out what works for me to be able to recognize that I am angry about a situation, but to move past it quickly.

What I usually do is call my mom or a friend and just vent- they typically validate my feelings which allows me to feel as if I am not crazy, which makes me feel better right away.  I then take a few minutes and allow myself to be angry.  Anger is a totally normal feeling and if you are feeling angry don’t try to suppress it- get mad, but don’t stay mad.  I then listen to the song that makes me think of a person that always makes me feel better, a happy memory, or I listen to the song that makes me think of the person that upset me.  After listening to the song I have all of the memories associated with the song and person fresh in my mind; I then ask “will this matter in six months?” 

This whole process can take anywhere from three minutes to three days, I just keep repeating it until the answer to “Will this matter in six months?”  is no.  In a world where our words are open to anyone who really wants to read/share/find them it is more important to make sure that what you are writing is more than what you are feeling at that moment – do you really want to ruin a friendship because you posted something horrid in the heat of the moment?

Take a breath, take some time, and take control.  You have control over how you react to any situation, and if you don’t like how you are reacting you can change that- you have the power.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

happily ever after

I have always known that I wanted to write, I never really thought that I would be writing a blog, but I knew that one day I was going to write a book.  The book was going to be about my adventures in dating, as I have some pretty wonderful stories; some of the highlights include: the guy I am dating moves to another continent; while at the home of the guy I am dating another girl comes over and kisses him (but I am not supposed to me mad); and maybe the most hysterical is a guy going crazy because I barrowed my friends potato masher (yep, potato masher).  I could go on and on, thus why I thought a book about my adventures in dating would be a best seller!  I haven’t written this book yet because I wanted to wait for my happy ending; when I ride off into the sunset with prince charming… but who says that is a happy ending?

While lying in bed last night thinking about what I was going to write today I was thinking about my happy ending, and what I wanted it to be.  I, like many women my age, have a pintrest board dedicated to a wedding that I may not have; you see I am not engaged- shocker! I believe like many people my age, we look to the wedding as the happy ending, and we don’t see much past that moment.  I know at some point I want to have my own kids, so wouldn’t they also be part of my happy ending? 

I am lucky to have parents that are still married and I know that they still love each other.  Even when my sister and I look at my mom and question what she ever saw in our father (LOVE YOU DAD!).  Is what my parents have happily ever after?  I have had the opportunity to talk to my parents about what some of the happiest days in their lives were, and they don’t say their wedding.  Yes they enjoyed it and they are glad they got married, but this was just the beginning to the next chapter of their lives; they are still working on living happily ever after.

So why is it that I feel the need to hold off on a project that I have always wanted to do until I am married, so my book has a happy ending?  And who says that my happy ending is going to happen at 27, maybe I will be 97 before I can look back on my life as say that my story was a good one, and that I have lived my happy ending not just waited for it to happen. 

As of today, I am making a promise to myself to live my happy ending.  I am going to do what I want to do when I want to do it, I am not going to wait for prince charming to take me away and have that moment be the start of the rest of my life – the rest of my life starts now.  What have you been waiting to do? Are you not going  back to school because you feel like you are too old- is your age stopping you from living you happily ever after; or are you hesitant to make a big change in your life because you are waiting for prince charming to make the change with you.

You have the power to write your own story and you can end it any way you want to, and you have the power to decide when the next chapter begins.  My next chapter started today, when I decided that I don’t need a prince charming to make my life complete; I am pretty awesome and I am certain that my prince will need me in his life just as much as I will need him in mine.  My prince is only going to enhance my story, not complete it.

 How is your next chapter going to start?

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Love.

Love is a feeling that people spend their whole lives looking for.  We watch movies to see others fall in love, and we go to weddings to celebrate when others find love.  Love crosses lines, and races, and social issues and language barriers.  Most people when they think of love the probably think of a man and a woman kissing or planning their future together, but love is so much more; and we tend to forget the love that we have in our lives right now.

I am 27, single and I haven’t every really been in a serious relationship; but by no means does this mean that I am not loved, nor that I have felt love.  This past weekend my family drove over 6 hours to spend four hours with me.  If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.  We were able to laugh and had a good time, and it was totally worth the drive.  When I was saying good bye to my family I started to cry, because realistically I am a crier, my mom said that she was happy that I was crying because crying meant that I loved her – like that was ever a question!

This statement got me to thinking, what are ways that I show, and receive, love without it being a romantic love.  I believe that there is love around me every day.  It could be a cute text message that I get from my family, or looking at picture that bring memories back of a time when I felt loved.  I personally believe that we as a society spend too much time trying to show others that we are loveable that we don’t truly love the most important person in our lives… ourselves.

Self love and self acceptance is a very important trait to have.  I believe that if you truly love who you are others will also love you in return.  I have been talking to some of my friends back home about how I wish I had more friends in my new area; and they have said to just give it time because everyone likes me.  I am not entirely sure that I believe this and I am sure I have some people out there would disagree, but I love who I am, and I know that there are others who will also love me.  I haven’t ever really struggled making friends because I accept who I am, which allows me to accept others for who they are. 

When I wake up every morning I lay in bed and think of things that I am happy for, and that I love.  This morning, I knew I wanted to write about love so I thought about the traits I have that I love – here are a few examples of what I love about me:

• I love that I have an awesome brain that allows me to have amazing dreams that I don’t want to wake up from
• I love that I have the ability to laugh at the world around me, and makes the life I live easier to live when everything is funny
• I love that I am learning to let the day control me, instead of me controlling my day – it has allowed for some awesome opportunities to come into my life
•  I love the feeling when I crack my back and it feels as if all the stress I was carrying is gone
• I love the way I am able to take every song that I listen to and have it relate to my life – music puts a smile on my face as I am able to remember all the amazing events and people in my life

Your ability to love should start with yourself and work its way out.  I am not saying that this is easy and sometimes the hardest thing to do in a day is thing of five things that you love about yourself; but I promise you that as you begin to love who you are, you will attract others into your life who love you for you as well.  I know that you are a loving person and able to give so much love to the world, you just have to believe it!

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Make it a best seller!

There are mornings when I wake up and I know that is going to be a good day; today was one of them.  I knew that I didn’t have anything that I had to do today – it was a day for me.   I was awake for less than two hours when I knew that today was going to be amazing.  I started the day by talking with two of my best friends, then saw a lovely quote posted on my wall: “‎There is no skill better to acquire than to be conscious of the present moment, be willing to let go of everything you've ever learned and jump into a spontaneous, weird and unknown new life. All the planning in the world can never prepare you for the time when you must leap into the unknown all by yourself. Welcome to that moment." 

What is so funny about this quote is that I have been thinking a lot this week about why I feel the need to plan everything.  I love to plan, I don’t really like surprises; I like to be in control.  It’s not that I have every minute of my day planned, but I like to know what I am going to do and when I am going to be doing it. This need to plan is something that I can always remember doing- for a long time I wanted to be an event planner; I don’t think you can get much more of a planning job than that!

I have found that when I don’t plan things, my life turns out to have some amazing things happen in to – I meet really cool people, I get a job, or I have a new adventure – so why am I trying to force a life onto myself? Yes, think about that for a second.  What story are you writing for yourself that isn’t as amazing as the one the universe has planned for you?   I had never thought about the story the universe has for me, and I am sure it is greater than the one that I have in the works.

Planning is something that I find comfort in, if I have everything planned out than no one can hurt me; but can anyone really hurt you.  Physically yes, but usually I physically get hurt by wearing dumb shoes or just being the complete opposite of graceful.  Think about the last time someone hurt your feelings – did they really hurt you or did your interpretation of their actions make you feel hurt.  It all comes back to the story we have written for others, and sometimes they don’t live up to the story we wrote; but are you living up to the story that was written for you?

I have read a lot about learning to live in the moment, and I have found this hard for me to accomplish; the planner in me comes out.  Living in the moment is all about enjoying what is happening right now and not missing the beauty in your life right now because you are looking/planning/fearing what may happen in the future. I can say from person experience that  the experience I have had that are unplanned are my favorite memories, and I am sure that I had fun at planned events- but those events doing bring the same warmth to my heart.

My goal for this weekend is to not plan what is going to happen, but to just let it flow.  I believe that by letting go of the fear of “what if” I will be able to enjoy the moment that is happening right now.  Write your own story, but allow the universe to make it a best seller!

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

twitterpated.

A few weeks ago I moved to a new place where I know few people; this has allowed for a lot of “me” time.  I had thought that moving that I was going to be able to hit a restart button to my life, I would be able to begin a new life and become a new me – what I found out is that I really like me and I like the person I am, flaws and all.  I know that I have spent a lot of time talking about how amazing you all are, and that you are in control of your own story; but I have a confession for you-  at times I am totally clueless, and the scared little thirteen year old that still lives in my head comes out with a vengeance.

You may be surprised to read that; a lot of people believe that if someone is comfortable writing, or speaking, or teaching in a certain area then they have it all figured out; that my friend is a total lie.  I have found that the good teachers will admit that they don’t know everything and that they are still learning.  I had a phone call today with someone who is living my dream, and she said that she still doesn’t know everything and that as she learns more she evolves and sometimes she has to ask for help.  Some people may find this discrediting, but I find it so admirable, and I love the strength that it takes to admit it.

I had a rather heated conversation with a friend last week; and at one point he called me out on my ability to coach.  He wanted to know why I thought that it was okay to coach other people about finding their “you complete me” person when I haven’t found that person for me.   The thing he may not fully understand is that there is so much more to being a coach than having lived the life the person you are coaching is living.  I am the person I want to coach- I am single and learning to love myself.  Usually I think I am pretty awesome and that I have a lot to offer, but there are times when I have absolutely no idea what I am doing, and I turn into that thirteen year old again.

This past week I met a new guy, and I am totally twitterpated.  I am nervous and anxious and it is totally wonderful and horrible feeling all at the same time.  I have no idea what to say, or how to act at all – the cool, confident Lyndsay is currently on vacation or something; but thirteen year old Lyndsay is ready for the game.   The same woman who can walk into an interview and not worry about it because I know how lucky this company would be to have me, and that I would make this place a better place for everyone – still gets nervous talking to men.

I spent a half hour on the phone tonight with a good friend who kept trying to tell me to see the good in this – all I can see is that I have lost that last 14 years of my life and everything I learned in that time.  She told me to enjoy this feeling and that I need to live in the moment… does that sound familiar, not like I have ever written anything like that before.  She asked me what I would tell my clients to do: I would tell them to enjoy the moment, and if this guy doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have a girl as awesome as you in his life he doesn’t deserve you right now.  So why can I say that to you all and mean it with every bit of my heart, but I still struggle with it internally?

The answer is: I have no idea!  I know that I am a work in progress and that I am learning new things everyday that are making my life more amazing, and I hope that you are too.  I am learning that not all risks are scary, and that sometimes you need to learn the hard way- which occasionally is the only way I learn.  The point of today’s blog: never believe that someone has all the answers, because if they are worth listening to they will admit that don’t know everything. 

So to all the ladies, and gentlemen out there who take the time out of your day to read my blog- I thank you and hope that you are continuing to improve yourself and that you are strong enough to admit that sometimes, you have no idea what to do, but you are enjoying the ride.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

See the Good

If you were to walk into my bedroom you would probably think that a little girl lives here.  I have a lot of pink, and glittery things, and flowers; to me it is just a happy place to be.  I was looking at something things that I had tagged on a website under: makes me smile.  I found that the pictures that make me smile remind me of my family, or make me feel like a princess.  I just celebrated my 27^th birthday and you may think that at 27 I need to “grow up” , but there is something about knowing that prince charming is still out there, that glitter can make any day better, and a Disney movie can make any day better.

As we grow up we start to conform to the norms of society- we get jobs because we have to pay our bills.  We stop talking about once upon a time, and start talking about things that are happening in the world.  We no longer see fairies out of the corner of our eyes, but we always run into our exes.  I love the life I am living and wouldn’t change it for the world- and I have kept some of my childhood dreams with me- have you?

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we stop playing pretend and have to deal with reality; my question is why?  Why is it odd that I love the color pink, and fairytales?  I like pink because it is a happy color and it makes me feel better.  I like fairytales because they remind me that the good guy wins, the evil step sisters don’t always get what they want, and if you wait long enough your will be able to ride off into the sunset with prince charming.  I see nothing wrong with seeing the good in the world.

I know that there are people who don’t see the world the same way I do – and I understand that. There are days when I don’t see the world through rose colored glasses, but I try to make sure that I still have the ability to see the world that way.  I believe that it is when we become hard and stop laughing that we stop seeing the good in the world.  With all the bad things that are happening it is completely understandable that it is hard to find the good, but finding the good is what makes the bad easier to handle.

I dare you to look around your life and find the good.  It can be so easy to see the things that aren’t going the way we want them to, but what about the parts of our lives that are going wonderfully.  I may not have my dream job; but I have enough money to pay the bills and have fun.  I may not be married, but I have had time to find out who I really am.  I may not be able to see my friends and family as much as I would like; but I have time to work and when I see them it is even more special.

Having the ability to find the good in the bad is a quality that will put you in front of the rest of the pack.  By finding the good you have an outlook on life that not many others will share with you, but they will be jealous of your ability.  I challenge you to look at what you would consider “bad” in your life and try to find the good.   Carry something with you that will lift your spirits if you are in a bad mood.  You have the ability to see any situation as a good situation, it just takes practice.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Learn by Creating

In the past I have talked about writing your own story, and not letting other write your story without your consent, but I haven’t talked to you about a fun way to do that.  I am finding that I love to write and tell stories, I should have known, but I guess I never took the time to really discover that I liked it.  One of the ways I like to write stories is by people watching.  It is one of my favorite past times, and it is also something that I my family likes to do.  Honest- the girls in my family went on a cruise and developed a whole back story for a family that we saw there; including fake names, majors in college, jobs and hobbies.  It was so much fun and the best part was that we saw this family EVERY where we went. If we were at the pool they were there.  They went to the same places for dinner and shows at the same time; we were even on the same little boat to get off at one of the destinations.  I know that a cruise ship isn’t that big, but we saw these guys everywhere.

Our ability to write stories gave us a really fun story to tell people when we got home, and it is something that still comes up on a regular basis.  When writing your own story you may need to practice writing what a story should be like?  Is it a happy story or a sad story; your story should be happy but we all have obstacles to overcome that may be sad so you have to be comfortable writing the sad parts as well.  Writing your story is something that will be continuous, and you can change it as many times as you like, you just have to keep writing it. Just like in all other aspects of your life practice makes perfect; so I challenge you to go and write a story.

I am not talking about sitting down with a pen and paper and starting with “once upon a time;” though most of my stories start that way. Go someplace where you can see a bunch of people, preferably a place where you don’t know anyone; and start writing a story for them.  Here are some examples of the stories I am writing just by looking at the people around me – again, just stories.

• A woman just walked in who looks like she is in her late thirties, she just got done at the gym and is grabbing some food before she has to pick her kids up.  She is a loving mother and had a fun filled afternoon ready for the kids.  They are going to go to the zoo and then make homemade pizza with faces on them for dinner!
• There is a teenage couple sitting two booths from me, they are adorable and sharing food off of each other’s plate.  They were hugging when they first came in because they don’t get to see each other very often, so today is a special day.  They are going to spend all day together and do something ridiculous like finger paint with her little sister, or get into a food fight.
• A little girl in a pink pea coat is being carried by her dad.  She has a cast on her leg because she recently broke it because she was in her princess gown and trying to ride her dog, needless to say it didn't go well.  Her has is white and will soon be cover in awesome designs as her mom is an artist and is going to decorate the cast for her daughter.

I have no idea if any other these things are true, but you can learn a lot about yourself by the stories that you create for others.  From the first story you can probably gather that I want to be a mom and do all the fun things that you can do with kids, but if you do them by yourself it’s a little odd.  The second story is about young love, something all people want- even if they aren’t young.  The third story is just about a cute family and a little girl in pink, how could you not write about a little girl in a pink pea coat!

I encourage you to try this experiment and see what the themes in your stories are?  You may find out things about yourself that you didn’t even know.  You may also find that there are something that you didn’t know you wanted, or themes in your life that you haven’t finished dealing with.  Writing stories is all about how you see the world, and the power you give yourself to write you own story.  Practice your stories and make the reality- live happily ever after.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

10 Ways I Change the World

“Waiting on the world to change” by John Mayer is one of my favorite songs. I love the way I feel when I hear it and that it makes me want to go into action.  Even though the song states that we are just waiting, I believe that we are just waiting to see the affects of what we have done become more visible. Just because we haven’t found a cure for world hunger, people are now aware that this is a major issue – thus we are just waiting on the world to change completely.  Sometimes it is hard to wait to see the progress take hold, and there have been many people who will not see the impact they have left until they are gone; for the most part, many famous artists didn’t become famous until many years after they have died.  I don’t want to wait until I am dead for people to look back and see the impact I have made.

Yes, you read that correctly.  The impact I have made.  I know right now for a fact that I have influenced other people’s lives, and I know that I may not have played a major role in their lives, but I know I played a part.  Part of changing the world is knowing that you can make a difference and that you will make a difference!  I know that I will make a difference because I know I already have.

Here is a list of ten ways I know how I have made a difference- I dare you to write your own

1.  I helped plan and execute a national conference that people love coming to, they take what they have learned and implement it in their schools, helping the students that are there. I many not know ANY of these kids, but by helping with the execution of the conference, their teacher was able to enjoy the workshops, and bring the change to their school. My effort has changed the world.
2. I have surrounded myself with people who like to help others.  By having these people in my life I have also been able to help others when I have been invited to speak, work with, or just be a sounding board.  My time has helped change the world.
3. I am fortunate enough to be able to donate money to causes that I believe in.  I have been able to support my friends as they walk to find a cure, bike to raise money, or just ask me to help support a local group.  My money has changed the world
4. I write a blog that I love, and that I hope others love as well. I know my words may not be wise, and sometimes a little unorganized, but I have received comments from readers who say that I have helped with a situation in their life.  My writing has changed the world.
5. I come from a family or rock stars.  We were taught that if you want to make a change, you have the power to do it.  If you want to make a difference, you can’t wait for others to do it; you need to be a part of it as well.  My family has changed the world.
6. I have spent countless hours working with a group of teenage girls help work in their skill.  Some loved me, and I know some didn’t love me, but they all knew that I was there for them and that I wanted them to succeed.  I may not have changed all of their worlds, but I know that when they look back, I will have had an impact on some of them.  My coaching has changed the world.
7. I love to laugh and I love to make others feel better.  I had had days where I didn’t know if what I was doing was the right thing, or just needed a pep talk- it is these days when I receive notes from my friends saying that I am the one the puts a smile on their face when they are down, and my ability to help others makes them feel comfortable helping me.  My love has changed the world.
8. I have an open mind and this has allowed me to meet some of the most amazing people.  My open mind has allowed me to overlook stereotypes and see people for who they are, not who society portrays them to be.  My tolerance had changed the world.
9.  I have a voice and I tend to use it – some may say too much.  I have used my words to teach others about things that I feel passionately about.  I have made people realize that they are not alone in the world, and that there are people who care for them and want to help.  My voice has changed the world.
10. I get out of bed everyday looking to see the good in things.  Even when I am down and not feeling like I am on the right path I know that I am living with purpose and that I am making a difference.  My life is changing the world.

I know that I am making a change because I want to make a change.  You too can make a change in any aspect of your life.  Big or small you have the power to create change, and I am sure if you sit down and think about it you are changing the world in ways you probably never knew.  Just by reading this blog you are changing my world. 

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

enjoy the process

We all have days when we think that we aren’t making any progress.  Days where we can see where we want to go but are questioning if the amount of work that need to be executed to achieve that goal is going to worth it in the end; I know I have feelings like this sometimes, and some days it is harder to see the vision you have than others.  It is the days when you do not know if what you are doing is right that are the most important to reaching your final goal.

The cool thing about goal setting is that it can change… your goals can change.  Remember when you were five and you wanted to grow up to be a princess, or a knight; or an ice cream man; I am sure that for many of us these are no longer our goals – but if you ever find an opening for a princess let me know.  As we grow and change our goals grow and change with us.  Just because you wanted to achieve something one day doesn’t mean that you won’t find something great or more fulfilling for you to accomplish.

Dreaming and goal setting are such an import part to becoming the person that you want to be, just don’t get so caught up in the future that you forget to enjoy the present.  This is something I know I need to work on – I tend to see what I want the outcome to be that I forget to enjoy the process.  The process is what gets us to the final destination; it is the process that allows us to feel the accomplishment of reaching the final goal.  It is also the process that allows us to become discouraged.

I am one of those people who tend not to enjoy the process, and this is something that I work ok. I want to get to the end result, but sometimes the effort to get there becomes more of a burden than an enjoyment.  Here are some things that I have done to allow me to enjoy the process that is allowing me to reach my goal:

• ·         I set mini goals, so I feel like I am always  making progress toward the end goal
• ·         If I don’t feel like working that day, I don’t push myself, I don’t want to hate my goal
• ·         I look at my goal regularly to see if it is still something I want to work toward and make a list as to why I want that goal
• ·         I ask for help from others when I feel like I am in over my head or that they have a gift that can help me
• ·         I remember  “a setback is a setup from a comeback”

I know that these ideas may not work for everyone but I have found that when I am in need of some motivation I look to see what others are doing and see what I can learn from them.  I don’t know many feels that are greater than accomplishing a goal, but being able to enjoy the process that allows you to reach that goal make the attainment so much sweeter. You can achieve your goals, I know you can do it, and if you ever need a little bit of encouragement, I am always here to help.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Shine like the moon

I love quote books, I probably have twenty of them.  I have a pintrest board dedicated to sayings I love; I have a page on my website that has quotes I am inspired by.  The reason quotes are so special to me is because the good ones remind me why I do what I am doing and they say it in such a pretty way.  I think I read quotes every day; some are good, some need some work, but I find great value in others words- and I hope that there are people in the world that find value in my words.  Today’s quote is “the moon could not go on shinning if it paid attend to the little dogs that bark at it” –anonymous.

How many times have you had an idea, or done something that you thought was amazing but the “little dogs” barked at you and you began to question if what you did was the right thing? I know I have done this before, but I still struggle with this sometimes.  We all need to be validated in what we are doing and that what we are doing wont mess up the rest of our lives.  I decided to move without consulting anyone, but I had to make sure my parents and friends supported me before I actually left, I needed someone to tell me that this wasn’t going to be the biggest mistake of my life.

Taking the risk to make this move was me trying to shine, but I was letting the little dogs that live inside me head bark and bark and bark. I love shining, just ask anyone who knows me, I like to be the center of attention and glitter is my best friend – I like to sparkle; but even I struggle with being able to shine like the moon.  To me be able to shine like the moon is knowing that you will be just as beautiful and brilliant day after day.  Shining like the moon is a constant, not just on the days that you feel like it. Even on the nights when you cannot see the moon you know it is there, and you know that I will come back. 

Being like the moon is not an easy thing to do, but I know that we all can do it.  The moon has cycles and some days it shines brighter than others, and occasionally the clouds or city lights get in the way of the glow of the moon; just like how we sometimes let the bad things we think are happening in our life get in the way of allowing us to see all the good that we have in our lives.  This past weekend my family came down to help me move in, I spent most of Sunday morning crying because I knew they were leaving and that I was going be alone and miss them greatly, I was letting the clouds block the moon; but we went to breakfast and there were these two little red headed girls that were giggling at their dad, which made me laugh, it was at this point where I had a break in the clouds and I could see the moon shining.

Sometimes we let the loudness of the dogs barking and the clouds that are around us stop us from shining and showing the world how amazing we are.  We all need to shine, and hopefully we will shine a little brighter today than we did yesterday.  The moon is an amazing thing that everyone in the world enjoys and love, and you are also an amazing being that everyone in your world enjoys and loves.  Be the moon, shine bright even when the dogs are barking and the clouds get in the way; because you and I both know how amazing and beautiful you are.

Shine like the moon,

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay 

Change, Change, Change

Making a change can be scary.  I made a really big change this past week and I was so scared that it will not turn out the way I would like it to, but if you don’t take a risk you will not get the results.  I hear over and over again all the one liners about change “Big risk = big reward”, “if you do what you have always done, you always get what you always got”.  Change is scary; I don’t ever remember hearing what people really thing about change, just a cute reply about how they like change, but in reality change sucks, but it happens.

I moved to a new city, in a new state, this weekend.  I am over six hours from my family, in a city where I know few people, and I am scared out of my mind.  I am not scared for my safety, but I took a big risk leaving everything and everyone I know. For the first time I have to stand on my own and make a name for myself and that is scary.

I know that I am smart, and I am funny ,and that I have a good heart; and know that anyone would be lucky to have me work for their company, or be their friend; but how to do I go about doing that?  What it all comes down to is knowing that I am awesome, and just sharing my gifts with the world.  The other thing I need to remember is that if I put the idea out there that I am going to have a bunch of friends and a wonderful job, I will get a bunch of friends and a wonderful job.

Change is scary, but it can also be rewarding.  I have been by myself in a new city for a day, and I have been able to choose what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it.  I walked to the library this morning, a wonderful way to start my day in MARCH (sorry I’m a Minnesota girl forever, always think there should be snow and mud all over in March). I cannot tell you how amazing it is to know that I am going to spend all day at the library – I never would have done this in my old town.   I know that I want to do some research on where I am living, and read and be around people, thus the library; I knew people and things about my old town so I never needed to take an adventure at the library.

You can make a change too.  Maybe you don’t want to move, maybe you just want to try to look for a new job, or take a class outside your major, or just talk to that cute girl in biology.  You write you own story and you can change the way the story is going if you don’t like it, or if you feel like it is missing something.  Change isn’t easy, and sometimes it doesn’t go the way you would like it to- but you can do it.  You can make any change you want to big or small, you can do it, and you can change your stars!

I loved my life in Minnesota, but I know I am going to love my life here.  Change doesn’t have to come from something that is missing, or something that isn’t going well, change can just be a new challenge.  Change is whatever you want it to be, and change is about you, not about what someone else wants you to be. Let me know what you want to change- I am interested.  Send me an email and I will help you start on the path to make your change. You can do it!

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

lyndsay@andconfidence.com

You've got a friend in me

Do you ever look at the people in your life and just becoming in awe of how amazing they are?  I am making a big move this week and had a going away party so I could see my friends before I left.  Not only did I have more people show up then I had ever dreamed up; but the people who came were the people that are my true friends.  I had friends that I had not seen in over a year come to wish me luck, and I know that these are the friends that I could call in the middle of the night if anything was wrong.

I tend to think that my friends are the people that I see every day, or the ones that I talk to regularly.  But after this weekend I know who my close friends are.  Close friends will drive and hour and a half out of their way to get another person who can’t drive and bring them to your party.  Not only does the drive make them a close friend, but the fact that they didn’t tell you they had to do it, makes me love them even more.  A close friend drives to see you one last time, changing their plans and to top it off, kicks off their birthday with you.  A close friend is someone that you know loves you even if you they don’t say it. 

By no means am I saying that I don’t love my friends that were not able to make it this weekend, because I know that they still love me, but sometimes life gets in the way.  As I sat at the table on Saturday night and looked at those around me I felt so much love, joy, and gratitude for those who had made me a priority in their life.  And for that I am forever grateful.

After being able to hold this feeling I have become to question what type of friend do I want to be?  I have always prided myself on having a lot of friends and if I didn’t see them in a while it didn’t matter because we would pick up right where we left off.   I still believe that this is a good thing to have, but I want to try and become a better friend myself.  I want be the friend that will drive a long time to see the other friend – but for no reason.  I want to be the friend that gets called in the middle of the night because they know that I am always there for me.  I want to be the friend that I saw when I looked around me on Saturday night.

What kind of friends do you have, and what kind of friend are you being?  I know that I have had friends in the past that were not allowing me to live my future.  I challenge you to look at the people you have in your life and see what they are doing to increase the value you have in your life.  I am not telling you to stop talking to your friends- just take an inventory to see who is giving you what you want from the relationship you have with them, and who is not.  You have control over your life, don’t let your friends bring you down.  You have so many people that love you, surround you with those that life you up and give you more energy.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

Write your story

A family friend recommended a book to me that I am in love with.  I usually don’t read; I’m pretty sure my little brother didn’t think I could read until I was in college- that’s how much I read.   Yesterday I was sitting in a coffee shop reading this book and I read a sentence that made me want to go up to the stranger next to me to talk to them about it – I found it an amazing concept: “No girl who plays the role of a hero dates a guy who uses her. She knows who she is. She just forgot for a little while.”

Here is a little back story.  A guy in the book was worried about his daughter because she was hanging out with an icky guy.  He had tried to yell at her, and ground her and all that jazz, but it wasn’t working.  Don (the main character) had said that this girl was living a bad story right now, and this dad got to thinking about the story he had written for those in his life.

I thought that this was such an astounding idea – we write the story we want to live.  We all have villains, and price charming, and are waiting for the musical number; but who casts the story.  I know that there are people that I have decided that I am not going to like without even knowing them; I cast them in a certain role before I even knew what I had done.

The real question is who are you allowing to write your story, and whose story do you have a role in.  When we are young we tend to let others write our stories; parents, teachers, friends.  As we become adults we take charge of our story and decide how we want the story to end.  Have you taken control of your story, or are you still playing out a plot that someone else has written for you.

In the past I have talked about labels and I think that this has some overlap.  We rarely place labels on ourselves, typically labels are placed upon us and we choose to execute them – we are participating in someone else’s story for us.  When we choose to not fit the stereotype of a label is when we begin to write our own story.

Now I am not telling you to sit down and plot out the next sixty years of your life in one afternoon; but I challenge to sit down and think about what you really want.  Take control of the story line, crate your own plot, and cast your story.  What I believe is the best part to writing your own story is that it can change, I mean they make sequels and prequels to books all the time, you can do the same thing!  If you don’t like the way the plot is going, you have the power to change it.

Writing your own story isn’t easy; that’s why so many people just live the story someone else has written for them. The hardest part may be the action step.  We sit and daydream about what we want out life to be, the way we wish our story was going; but how many people actually turn that dream into action.  When you are a member of a family your stories overlap, and if you change your story it may change the family’s story, and sometimes it is just easier to go with the story that has been written for than to create your own story.

People are ever changing, as should their story.  Take a look at your story and see if you like how it is playing out; if you do not, what are you going to do to re-write it.  You life is your own, make it your story that one that you want to it to be.  You have the lead role in your life, stop playing a supporting role.  Take control of you story and play it out the way you want it to be.  Live happily ever after.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

I've got the music in me!

I love music.  Music is how I relate to the world.  If I am sad I find a song that makes me feel better, or helps express the sad feelings I have.  Same goes for if I am happy.  I have a whole playlist dedicated to getting me excited, and one that makes me feel productive.  I have a song for everything; give me a feeling or an experience and I will give you a song.  I can tell you that “iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls reminds me of my eighth grade crush, and anything by Stacie Orrico reminds me of a road trip with my best friend my senior year of high school.

I associate everything with music.  I have also found that when I don’t know how ia m felling, or how to express myself I find a song that helps me.  This is a technique that I have also started using with my coaching clients.  Sometimes we know how we feel but we just can’t vocalize it or even turn it into a complete thought.

When I cannot even tell how I am feeling I listen to some of my favorite artists – typically John Mayer- and wait for the words to speak to me.  This is something that has really helped me and I think it would also help you.  I challenge you to take some time out of your day and find a song to associate with it.   Here is an example: When I am feeling like I just don’t fit in I listen to Jason Mraz – Geek in the Pink.  I love this song and I can totally relate to it.  You may not have any emotion to that song, and you know what it’s totally fine!  You get to choose the way to feel about a song, and just because I like it doesn’t mean you will.

Do you ever have to tell someone hoe you feel but you can’t find the words?  Try finding s song that helps describe the way you feel – you will be amazed at how much this can help a situation.  I know that when I have a crush on someone I wish they would hear a certain song because than they would know how I feel about them.  Or I am angry… you get the picture. 

Today’s challenge is to start a music journal.  Anytime you have a strong feeling or don’t know how to explain yourself, write it down and find a song later in the day that reminds you of that feeling.  Once you have the song picked out let me know!  Email me your song, and I will tell you the next step in this process. 

Sometimes the best thing we can do is take a step back and let the moment pass before we react; by having a music journal it allows you to do just that.  You have the power to control your feelings, and associate meaning to songs.  With these two techniques you will be amazed at how you can change your reactions.

I can’t wait to hear your songs!

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay

lyndsay@andconfidence.com