twitterpated.

A few weeks ago I moved to a new place where I know few people; this has allowed for a lot of “me” time.  I had thought that moving that I was going to be able to hit a restart button to my life, I would be able to begin a new life and become a new me – what I found out is that I really like me and I like the person I am, flaws and all.  I know that I have spent a lot of time talking about how amazing you all are, and that you are in control of your own story; but I have a confession for you-  at times I am totally clueless, and the scared little thirteen year old that still lives in my head comes out with a vengeance.

You may be surprised to read that; a lot of people believe that if someone is comfortable writing, or speaking, or teaching in a certain area then they have it all figured out; that my friend is a total lie.  I have found that the good teachers will admit that they don’t know everything and that they are still learning.  I had a phone call today with someone who is living my dream, and she said that she still doesn’t know everything and that as she learns more she evolves and sometimes she has to ask for help.  Some people may find this discrediting, but I find it so admirable, and I love the strength that it takes to admit it.

I had a rather heated conversation with a friend last week; and at one point he called me out on my ability to coach.  He wanted to know why I thought that it was okay to coach other people about finding their “you complete me” person when I haven’t found that person for me.   The thing he may not fully understand is that there is so much more to being a coach than having lived the life the person you are coaching is living.  I am the person I want to coach- I am single and learning to love myself.  Usually I think I am pretty awesome and that I have a lot to offer, but there are times when I have absolutely no idea what I am doing, and I turn into that thirteen year old again.

This past week I met a new guy, and I am totally twitterpated.  I am nervous and anxious and it is totally wonderful and horrible feeling all at the same time.  I have no idea what to say, or how to act at all – the cool, confident Lyndsay is currently on vacation or something; but thirteen year old Lyndsay is ready for the game.   The same woman who can walk into an interview and not worry about it because I know how lucky this company would be to have me, and that I would make this place a better place for everyone – still gets nervous talking to men.

I spent a half hour on the phone tonight with a good friend who kept trying to tell me to see the good in this – all I can see is that I have lost that last 14 years of my life and everything I learned in that time.  She told me to enjoy this feeling and that I need to live in the moment… does that sound familiar, not like I have ever written anything like that before.  She asked me what I would tell my clients to do: I would tell them to enjoy the moment, and if this guy doesn’t realize how lucky he is to have a girl as awesome as you in his life he doesn’t deserve you right now.  So why can I say that to you all and mean it with every bit of my heart, but I still struggle with it internally?

The answer is: I have no idea!  I know that I am a work in progress and that I am learning new things everyday that are making my life more amazing, and I hope that you are too.  I am learning that not all risks are scary, and that sometimes you need to learn the hard way- which occasionally is the only way I learn.  The point of today’s blog: never believe that someone has all the answers, because if they are worth listening to they will admit that don’t know everything. 

So to all the ladies, and gentlemen out there who take the time out of your day to read my blog- I thank you and hope that you are continuing to improve yourself and that you are strong enough to admit that sometimes, you have no idea what to do, but you are enjoying the ride.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay