will this matter in six months?

Every person that has ever really made an impact on my life has a song that I associate with them; and if you are really special you may have more than one.  I believe I could put together a multi disk complication of the songs that just remind me of my family. When I hear songs that make me think of the person I associate them with I get a big smile on my face and start to think of all the fun times we have had together; remembering the good can help me get over the not so awesome moments.

Last night I was another adventure that didn’t turn out at all like I had expected, but it was still a good night.  I drove and hour to meet up with a friend of mine, but due to an odd turn of events we weren’t able to meet.  While I was driving home from my friend’s house I heard a song that made me think of my grandma.  I was driving with a big stupid smile on my face thinking about my Grandma and how she would have handled the situation- it was at this moment that I realized this situation didn’t need to be handled.

As you can see I still struggle with letting the universe make my plans and not pushing plans onto me.  I am sure that if everything would have worked out last night that I would have had a good time, but for some reason, they didn’t work out, and I am sure in a week I will have figured out why my plans fell through.  I know it is hard, and I continue to struggle with it, but sometimes you need to take a step back while you are in the moment and ask yourself “will this really matter in six months?”

I have had to say this to myself a lot in the last few days – will this matter in six months.  Like most people, I tend to get so caught up in the moment that I don’t allow myself to see past my current feeling.  If I am mad, I just want to be mad and not think about anything else; but what did I miss out on because I was mad? Was I so mad about my plans falling through that I didn’t take a chance that would have allowed something else amazing to happen? Was I so consumed in feeling sorry for myself that I missed an opportunity to make someone else’s day better?

It is so hard when you are felling such strong emotions to look past them and try to decide if you will feel the same way about the situation in six months, or if you just need to me mad for a few minutes so you can move on and continue to live your life?  Think about a time when you felt angry because something had happened to you- do you still feel that same anger today, or have you been able to move on?

In this day in age when I can go on facebook and find out anything about anyone I was ever associated with, am I allowing my feelings to get the best of me? Are you so mad that you are going to vent about it in your latest post – or are you going to wait a few minutes and decide that if you were to go back and look at your posts, would you feel silly for making such a big deal about something that turned out to be insignificant?  I am in the process of finding out what works for me to be able to recognize that I am angry about a situation, but to move past it quickly.

What I usually do is call my mom or a friend and just vent- they typically validate my feelings which allows me to feel as if I am not crazy, which makes me feel better right away.  I then take a few minutes and allow myself to be angry.  Anger is a totally normal feeling and if you are feeling angry don’t try to suppress it- get mad, but don’t stay mad.  I then listen to the song that makes me think of a person that always makes me feel better, a happy memory, or I listen to the song that makes me think of the person that upset me.  After listening to the song I have all of the memories associated with the song and person fresh in my mind; I then ask “will this matter in six months?” 

This whole process can take anywhere from three minutes to three days, I just keep repeating it until the answer to “Will this matter in six months?”  is no.  In a world where our words are open to anyone who really wants to read/share/find them it is more important to make sure that what you are writing is more than what you are feeling at that moment – do you really want to ruin a friendship because you posted something horrid in the heat of the moment?

Take a breath, take some time, and take control.  You have control over how you react to any situation, and if you don’t like how you are reacting you can change that- you have the power.

You have it all & Confidence,

Lyndsay