I love a good happy ending; I want to see the couple ride off into the sunset, see the bad guy loose, and see the underdog finally get the girl - what can I say I am a hopeless romantic. Due to this love of “happily ever after” and that I may have seen one too many Disney movies, I tend to have this idea in my head about what I want in a relationship– but as it turns out I really have no idea what I actually want, and finally coming to the conclusion after twenty plus years that my fairy godmother isn’t going to randomly appear and save the day, has made my dating life rather entertaining.
I can tell stories about dates that you wouldn’t believe, that someday you will all learn about when I write my book. I have dates that have gone so well that as soon as the date had ended I sent a text to my friends saying I had finally met someone, and I have dates go so poorly that I was wishing that someone would call to let me know that they had been abducted by aliens or something that would have to come to their rescue. Looking back at these dates I am able to laugh, but at the time I felt as if I was going to be alone forever and turn into a crazy cat lady.
Since moving to Chicago I have met two guys that I thought were amazing. We hit it off, they made me smile and laugh, and we had a lot in common. Things would go really well for a few weeks, than just like a switch they disappeared into the night. I didn’t hear from them again, and didn’t see them anymore. This is when I would start to look internally and try to figure out what I did wrong. Did I say something or do something that had upset them? What is it about me that would make men decide that they no longer want to see me; but instead of letting me know that things were done, they would rather just stop talking to me? What was wrong with me?
I am sure that there have been times that I have said something to turn a guy off, actually I am rather certain of that, but with the past few guys I am totally clueless. After spending countless hours trying to determine what was wrong with me, and what I was doing to ruin the good thing I had going on I realized something – it has nothing to do with me.
I had dinner tonight with some awesome people that made helped me remember how amazing I really am, like every person I get so caught up in what isn’t going the way I would like it to, that I forget all the truly awesome things I have done. I am a pretty cool chic, if I do say so myself, and I know that someday I will find a man who believes that I am awesome too. Sometimes all you need to do is surround yourself with people you love and trust to help you remember who you really are.
After the first guy stopped talking to me my confidence was shaken, I didn’t think that I had anything of real value to share with any one; how was I to talk about confidence when I didn’t have any. What I had to learn is that I don’t have to have everything figured out in order to share my thoughts with you all, all I have to do is be willing to learn, and improve myself, and be happy with who I am. Sometimes it is easier said than done, but I am happy with who I am and I know that there is a man out there for me that will also be happy with me.
Sometimes things aren’t going to go your way, and you can either shut down or step up to the plate. For the last few months I have just shut down, but not anymore-because that really isn’t who I am. I’ll step up to the plate and take my chances, because playing the game is more fun than placing yourself on the injured list.
You have it all & Confidence,
Lyndsay
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